Think of where you are stuck and struggling in your marriage or other relationship, or unable to find the relationship you desire.
Getting close to another person requires feeling inside ourselves the intense energy of that closeness. In fact, the ability to connect with someone else is the result of our ability to connect consciously with our own insides. When we don’t connect inside, we seek solutions outside, such as trying to fix the other person, getting angry, or getting drunk—none of which work. What works is to stay connected with the sensations inside our bodies that are our response (our “internal correlate”) of what is happening outside.
If you have come to the realization that focusing on what’s happening “out there” is not working, perhaps it is time to shift your focus to what’s happening internally. That is what works.
